Monday, May 12, 2014

Few Words

If you follow my official blog then you must be aware of the fact that my second full-fledged work is up for pre-orders. If in case you are one of the loyal readers of this blog only then I have some really special news to share with you people. Yes, my second book 'Bad Romance' is finally coming out and you all can have a glimpse of the book cover here:

This is what the blurb says:

Life is a bitch and I’m one of its victims. I had the perfect life. I was blessed with the perfect boyfriend, a perfect best friend, the perfect set of girlfriends and perfect choice of career. There were some loopholes but then they went beyond my perspective. Overall, I had the kind of life people would ideally like to have but happy times aren’t meant to last forever.
Sometimes we feel that we have figured life but that’s something that is never going to happen. You know why? It’s because it has this habit of kicking us right in the middle of ecstasy. No wonder, it did the same with me.
This is my story, my story of that exploration within, my feelings, my emotions, my thought process, my priorities, my conflicts and my journey into the temptation of love, lust, lies and betrayals. This is the story of Kritika and a man who gave her life another dimension, Tanishq. This is a story of the complexities of relationships and the trap that a simple idea of sensuality, pleasure and euphoria can put you into. This is a story for everyone who has loved, lost and fought for survival and love, together. 

Just thought of sharing an excerpt for you straight from the book. Hope you like it.

It wasn’t the first time I was feeling so crap, so lifeless, so messed up; I had experienced it all in the past few months. Was it painful, I didn’t know, maybe I had got used to this pain so much that I had become numb. Maybe, it didn’t matter anymore. Maybe, it mattered but the hope of situations getting alright had somewhere been lost. Maybe, it was the darkness I had got accustomed to. Maybe…maybe, I was meant to be like this. Confused. Messed up. All the time.

And this is where you can place an order.

Since so many of my readers wanted an author signed copy, I asked my publisher for the same and he being really kind agreed to my request. So yes, if you order a copy from HS18, it is going to be author-signed.

We have a Facebook Page for the book too. Do LIKE.

Signing off for the day. Have a happy Monday! :)



Tuesday, March 25, 2014

That Man

I had never seen a man like him before. After all that happened to me, I started finding peace in talking to him. Although in the beginning he knew nothing about me but we’d talk, for hours together, mainly discussing his problems, his girl, not much about my life but even then, it was good to have someone to talk to. It was a lot better than brooding over the break-up I had just had, it was a lot better than to think about being used by people, it was better, a lot better than what those ugly thoughts brought me. All this was better than the pain I was suffering since the past few months. Our major part of conversation and cause of concern during those days happened to be her. She was his love, his first love and I knew how special she was for him. He somehow had this gut feeling that she was going away from him, he knew that she was with her for sake of being in a relationship but her heart wasn’t into it.

I was confused and helpless all the time at that time. Every day, in the evening, all he’d talk about was she. And then, one day, out of the blue, he told me that wanted me, not her. I was shocked. That was a tough time for me. While there were men who had betrayed me earlier and played with my feelings, this man wanted to be with me even after being hundreds of kilometers away from me. This was extremely confusing for me, how could he love two people at the same time. He himself didn’t know what was happening but I stayed on with him, still unsure of what I was doing. After some months of uneasiness and hope, he and she were over. I was at peace now, I was the only girl in his life.

For two years I stayed with him, listening to everything he said, agreeing to everything he said, taking in his possessiveness, forgoing my own desires for him, not certain things just because he didn’t find them right, until I lost the strength. I had become his slave at one point of time, he’d abuse me like anything, he’d fuck me for hours together but I didn’t say anything thinking we were meant to be. I stopped talking to all my male friends simply because he didn’t like it. And even after that, I was blamed for infidelity. All this killed me from inside and then one fine day, I slept with my best friend. Later on fell for him even but we let it go because he was the man I had always been with.

He came to know about my deed and left no stone unturned to make me feel like a slut. He blamed me non-stop, it was my mistake afterall. I was the one who had cheated on him but he forgot that it was he who had made me do all of it. Even after all this, he didn’t let me go. He wanted to have me and I stayed on. In one year’s time, I thought things had finally taken better shape until he started behaving erratically. His phone was always on wait and when it wasn’t, it went unnoticed. And then one fine day, we broke up again blaming me for the cause. Six months after my break-up, I get to know he had told about me cheating on him to some girl and got into a relationship with her alongwith me. May be, he tried the same technique he had applied with me. Now he was with the new girl, wooing her like he did for me, may be he was fucking her, fooling around with her, showing her much he loved her which makes him get physical with her, telling her that his love for her makes him go possessive for her, sucking out the life out of her. He’d do the same thing with her too, just the way he did with me and finally, when she’ll raise voice, he’ll blame her for everything and then they will separate and the decision would definitely be taken by her, again he getting out of relationship without any blots and crimes. He was indeed a different person, not because he did things the weird way but because, he made me emotionless like never before.

Wednesday, March 19, 2014


Holi ka tyohaar abhi abhi nikla hai par na jane kyu har baar ki tarah kuch adhura sa lga is baar. Har rang me tumko dhundne ki koshish ki, tum kehte the na ki laal mujh par bhot fabta hai aur ittefaaq to dekho lga bhi gulaal wahi. Jane kyu itne sare rango mein ek laal hi sabse hat kar dikh rha tha. Khud ko ayene me dekha to paya ki tum sahi the, laal rang sach mein bhot jachta hai. Par humesha ki tarah tumhara subah subah phone ni aya, humesha ki tarah tumne badhaai nahi di, humesha ki tarah tumne nahi kaha ki, "Moti, kuch mithai bacha lio mere liye."

Shayad kuch bacha hai humare beech, shayad ek naata hai jo chah k bhi nahi toot-ta. Shayad isiliye tumne call kia, ek baar nhi 7 baar par na jaane kyu himmat nhi hui tumse baat krne ki. Kyu karu main tumse baat, jab tumko meri zarurat hogi tb aaoge aur jab mann krega chale jaoge. Tumne hi usko chuna tha, tumne hi mera rasta chodha tha na to fir ab kyu? Kyu un ghav ko gehra karne ajate ho?

Jante ho na ki tumhare pyaar se kahin zyada humari dosti ka mahatv tha mere liye. Tumhe mujhse behtar pyaar mila maine seh lia, maine sab zindagi ka hissa bna lia, maine is badmaash mann ko bhi mana lia, mushkil tha par kia. Fir kyu tum ek baar fir is banjar dil ko baarish ki aasha dena chahte ho? Kyu mujhe uljha ke rakhte ho?

Jawaab to zindagi ne kabhi nahi diye to fir iska bhi hal milna mushkil lagta hai.Shayad wo upar se dekh rha, shaayad wo bhi samajh nahi paa rha ki aakhir kia bhi jaye to kya. Shayad is waqt humara milna sambhav nhi par kabhi na kabhi milenge zarur, kabhi kisi dusre janam mein! Tab tak ke liye apna khayal mere sabse pyaare dost...

Tumhari shayad ab apni nhi rhi..


Sunday, March 2, 2014


Kabhi kabhi zindagi aise dorahe par khada kar deti hai ki samajh nahi ata ki akhir kare bhi to kya, ek raah uski or hai jise dil ne apna mana aur doosri or wo manzil jisne is dil ko apnaya. Kya kru, aise asmanjas me phansi hu ki na kadam agey badh pate hain na piche jane ki himmat juta pati hu...Aur ek aise hi lamhe me yaad ate ho tum, humesha ki tarah. Jab bhi koi khalal si machti thi dil aur dimag mein, ek tum hi to the jo sare uljhano ka hal nikalte the. Par kya karu ab tum bhi ni, tum bhot agey badh gye aur main...main rehti to vartman mein hu par kabhi kabhi yunhi tumhari yaadon mein kho jaana acha lgta hai.

Aur fir tumhari tasveer par nazar na chahte huye bhi pad hi jati hai aur ehsaas hota h ki kitne door ho gye hain hum. Tum mere apne the, haina? Phir kyu is tasveer mein bhi anjaan se dikhte ho. Yahi sawaal khada uthta hai mann mein par kuch jawab nahi milta, shayad mujhe kabhi zindagi hal dena nahi chahti isliye yahi sahi.

Par na jane kyu tumko sirf laptop k screen par dekh kar hi dil halka sa lagne lagta hai, na jane kyu office ki tension aur sari adchane apneaap asaan lagne lagti aur phir mann mein khayal ata hai tum humesha mere paas ho, bhale hi iss zindagi mei hum ek sath nahi par shayad kisi pal kabhi milenge zarur.. 



Tuesday, February 18, 2014

That Cup of Coffee

"Would you like to chat over a cup of coffee?" I asked my first crush. Since the day I fell for her, I could never gather the courage to ask her out but today, I had to. It was our last day at school and in a matter of two days, I'd be going away from Mussorie forever. She was a local resident but I had to go back to Mumbai, that was where home was. Dad wanted me back with him.
"May be some other time, I have to go," she replied.
I wanted to explain out to her that I'd never get to meet her again. I wanted to tell her how much I pined for her, I wanted to express her my love, shouldn't she know I had fallen for her six years back?
"Okay, bye! It was nice having you as company. Hope we stay connected after school too," I said. I didn't have to say this. I should have told her but damn, I just couldn't utter those words.
She left and I kept standing there for long, as if my legs had frozen.
Six years later, I was sitting at Barista at Andheri trying to get myself away from files and meetings when my eyes met a beautiful girl sitting next to my table. I knew her, she resembled someone.
Before I could get my brains thinking, she came running to me.
"Armaan, how are you? Long time. Remember me? Aisha from Mussorie," she said, all in one tone, she was excited I could tell.
I had finally got a chance to chat with her over cups of coffee. May be, this time was meant to be 'our some other time'. May be, this time I could tell what I couldn't in the past twelve years.